Thank you for tuning in to the latest instalment of The Secret of Jan, the unlikely story of a local Council receptionist who can reach new levels of human transcendence by licking the mould from the walls in her flat.

In this chapter you will find that Jan meets her friend’s new boyfriend Gary, who turns out to be evil, and she decides to seek a divine answer to this problem.

I wouldn’t say it’s my finest creation, and after all this time I am losing steam with it, but having done all this work I may as well share it. Expect the final chapter soon!